Threat of Normalcy

by Horrible Idea

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $5 USD  or more

     

1.
01:02
2.
01:34
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
03:36
8.
04:56
9.
10.
11.
03:31
12.
03:27
13.
00:50
14.
15.
16.
17.
03:22
18.
05:11
19.
01:54
20.
02:25

credits

released October 1, 2005

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Horrible Idea Atlanta, Georgia

contact / help

Contact Horrible Idea

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: Sea Gulls
SEAGULLS

SEAGULLS SHIT EVERYWHERE
SEAGULLS SHIT IN MY HAIR
SEAGULLS SHIT ON YOU
SEAGULLS ANNOYING TOO.

SEAGULLS HAVE BEADY EYES
SEAGULLS DON'T BELIEVE THEIR LIES
SEAGULLS THEY WANT YOU DEAD
SEAGULLS THEY WANT YOUR HEAD

*CHORUS*
THE THINGS THAT THEY SAY TO ME
MAKE ME CRAZY
WHEN I TALK BACK IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY (X2)

SEAGULLS DON'T FEED THEM
SEAGULLS AVOID THEM
SEAGULLS ARE EVIL
SEAGULLS HATE PEOPLE

(CHORUS)

SEAGULLS!
SEAGULLS!
SEAGULLS!
SEAGULLS!
Track Name: To The Sunset
TO THE SUNSET

MOTHER, FATHER STICK THE NEEDLE IN YOUR EYE
NOW BLIND SEND YOUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS OFF TO DIE
TOMORROW WILL YOUR CHOICES BE JUSTIFIED
OR IS OUR TRADITION MEANT TO MORTIFY

*CHORUS*
NOW TURN YOUR EYES
TO THE SUNSET
SAYING GOODBYE
TO THE SUNSET

FUNDAMENTAL CHECKLISTS ALL ACCOUNTED FOR
CHRISTIANS MUSLIMS WHERE'S YOUR MORAL
IS THAT BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS WASHED WITH REPENT
HELL AWAITS UNLESS BLACK GOLD IS HEAVEN SENT

(CHORUS)

BUT FOR NOW
YOU FIGHT
AND YOU KNOW
YOU'RE MORE THAN RIGHT
ARE WE WRONG

CAUSE A LIFE IN PAIN
FOR A WAR IN VAIN
IS A CHOICE WE'RE FORCED TO TAKE
SO LEARN TO FALL
TO DROP THE BALL
AS A NATION WE'RE A FAKE
DO YOU WANT TO BE A FAKE
IS THAT WHAT IT TAKES
IS A FALL WHAT IT TAKES

(CHORUS)
Track Name: Northern Nights
NORTHERN NIGHTS

DRIVING AROUND WITH NO WHERE TO GO
IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT AND I'M FEELING KIND OF LOW
THERE'S NOTHING TO DO EXCEPT FOR HAVE A SMOKE
IT'S SO PATHETIC I THINK I'M GONNA CHOKE

EVERY NIGHT THE SAME OLD SHENNANIGANS
LET'S TAKE THIS RIGHT AND THROW OUT OUR BEER CANS
LET'S TAKE THIS LEFT AND SEE WHAT'S GOING ON
THERE WAS A PARTY BUT NOW IT'S ALMOST DONE

*CHORUS*
THE NIGHT WAS YOUNG, BUT IT GOT OLD QUICK
SAME OLD SHIT AND IT'S MAKING US SICK
THE NIGHT WAS YOUNG, BUT IT GOT OLD QUICK
WITH THE NORTHERN NIGHTS AND THE NORTHERN NIGHTS
THIS IS THE WAY IT'S GOTTA BE
BUT THAT'S OK CAUSE AT LEAST WE'RE FREE
THIS IS THE WAY IT'S GOTTA BE
WITH THE NORTHERN NIGHTS AND THE NORTHERN LIGHTS

DRIVING AROUND UNTIL WE GET IN TROUBLE
PAINTBALL GUNS ARE FUN TO SHOOT AT ANIMALS
WE THINK THAT SOMEONE'S CALLED THE COPS
BUT IT'S OK BECAUSE OF TWENTY FOUR HOUR TOPS

(CHORUS)

GRATUITOUS "YEAH'S", "NAH'S", AND "AH'S"
Track Name: Too Far From Home
TOO FAR FROM HOME

IT'S AN EPIC!
TOO MUCH TIME I'VE HAD TO KILL
STARING AT LIGHTS IN THE DISTANCE
BUT I'LL HAVE TO DEAL
INSANE AND HOPING FOR RESISTANCE
CRAZY THOUGHTS ENTER MY HEAD
FAR-FETCHED AND POSSIBLY BRILLIANT
I AM FEELING DEAD
SEAGULL SOUNDS BECOME A CHANT
THEY START TO SAY

*CHORUS*
TAKE IT BY THE DAY
IT'S NOT KILLING YOU ANYWAY
THINK ABOUT A BETTER TIME
CAN'T BE TAKEN CAUSE IT'S MINE (X2)

TOO LONG ON I CAN'T CONCENTRATE
THESE CRAZY THOUGHTS HELP KEEP ME SANE
A THOUGHT OF HOME WILL BRING TO DATE
MY REALITY EASES WITH COMPLAINT

TOO MUCH TIME SLOW
TOO LONG TILL I GO
TOO LITTLE DEPTH PERCEPTION
TOO MUCH ANTICIPATION (X2)

(CHORUS)

TOO SICK TO DO THIS RIGHT
THIS ANXIETY IS GETTING THE BEST OF ME
A THOUGHT OF HOME WILL HELP ME FIGHT
WHAT'S LEFT UNTIL I'M FREE
IT'S OK THE REST ARE THE SAME
WE'LL BITCH EVERY CHANCE POSSIBLE
IT ALWAYS HELPS TO PLACE THE BLAME
ON SOMETHING UNSTOPPABLE

(CHORUS)

WHERE'S MY HOME NOW
IS IT REAL IF I'M NOT THERE
DO THEY THINK ABOUT HOW IT WAS
AND DO I CARE BECAUSE
I'M NOT ALONE
AND TOO FAR FROM HOME
NOT ALONE
AND TOO FAR FROM HOME

(CHORUS)
Track Name: Political Science
POLITICAL SCIENCE

IRRATIONALITY AND POWER-HUNGRY COUNTRIES
DO WE BLAME OURSELVES FOR WHAT IS GOING ON
IS IT THE WRONG THING OR THE RIGHT THING JUST GONE BAD
SOMETIMES WE TAKE FOR GRANTED THE FREEDOMS THAT WE HAVE

*CHORUS*
POLITICAL SCIENCE USED TO SILENCE IGNORANT MINDS
OUR COMPLIANCE WITH THE CONTRACT USED TO BIND
POLITICAL SCIENCE DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW IT ALL
OUR RELIANCE ON FALSE HOPE WON'T BREAK THE FALL

HAVEN'T WE LEARNED THE FUNDAMENTALS OF OUR LAWS
EVEN COLLEGE KEEPS YOU STARING DOWN THE HALLS
AT A DOOR TO ALL THE SECRETS KEPT AWAY
FROM THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOW THE LAWS THEY LIKE TO BREAK

(CHORUS)

WE'LL TAKE OUR TIME
PUSH IT BACK
SET IT OFF
WAIT IT OUT
NO

TIME
WE'LL PUSH IT BACK
SET IT OFF
WAIT IT OUT
NO (X2)

ARE WE THE ONES WHO WILL SOON RULE THE WORLD
ONE OF US HERE WILL HOLD A POSITION
WHEN YOU FEEL THE POWER TAKE A BURDEN ON YOU
REMEMBER US NOW AND LET THOSE LIES BECOME TRUTH

(CHORUS)
Track Name: Swashbuckler
SWASHBUCKLER

TOUCHÉ IS WHAT YOU'D SAY
WHEN PLAYED BY MY BLADE FIGHTING TODAY
A MATCH OF WITS PUT DOWN MY SWORD
ALL THESE ENDLESS WORDS ARE MAKING ME BORED

LIVING AN ADVENTURE
FOR THE TRUEST CAUSE
HOW MUCH CAN WE ENDURE
YOUR RAPIER IT'S TIME TO DRAW

*CHORUS*
SWASHBUCKLER SWASHBUCKLER
HOW BRAVE HE FIGHTS
WHAT HAPPENED TO TRUE ROMANCE
AND RIDING OFF IN THE NIGHT
SWASHBUCKLER SWASHBUCKLER
I MISS THOSE TIMES
BUT WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE
TO BE ONE OF YOUR KIND

ON GUARD IS WHAT I'D SCREAM AT YOU
THRASHING AND SLASHING TO SAVE MY LOVER TRUE
FIGHTING FOR A CAUSE THAT MAKES SOME SENSE
NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS LEARN HOW TO FENCE

TRUE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
KIDNAPPED AND SHUT AWAY
THOUGHT DEAD I'M NOT QUITE
PRINCESS YOU'RE MINE TO SAVE

(CHORUS)

BOMBS BOMBS ARE EVERYWHERE
FIGHTING WAR THIS WAY SEEMS UNFAIR
WHY CAN'T WE JUST DO IT LIKE MEDIEVAL DAYS
SO MANY INNOCENTS WOULDN'T DIE

SCALE THAT CASTLE WALL
DRIVING FORCE REVENGE
DON'T HAVE TO KILL THEM ALL
BUT MY FATHER I MUST AVENGE

(CHORUS)
Track Name: Lazy
LAZY

I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING
ELEVEN-THIRTY AM
YEAH, MY LIFE IS BORING
SO I HIT THE SNOOZE AGAIN
(?)
TWO OR THREE HOURS LATER
MY HUNGER OVERCOMES ME
I POUR A BOWL OF COCOA PUFFS
AND MY DAY BEGINS AT THREE

YEAH I'M LAZY
MY FUTURE IS HAZY
I HAVE NO AIM IN LIFE
I HAVE NO AIM IN LIFE (X2)

THE SUN IS SHINING BRIGHT OUTSIDE
IT'S STARTING TO GET HOT
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK AT FIVE
I'M GONNA HAVE TO WALK
THERE'S PEOPLE STROLLING EVERYWHERE
THEY ARE CROWDING UP THE STREETS
I WISH I WAS AT HOME ON MY COUCH
THAT LIFESTYLE CAN'T BE BEAT

BUT I'M NOT AT HOME RIGHT NOW
I START TO WONDER WHY AND HOW
I'M CUTTING PIZZAS UP
AND NOT DRINKING BEER IN A CUP
I SHOULD BE GAINING KNOWLEDGE
AND LIVING IT UP AT COLLEGE
BUT I'D RATHER SLEEP ALL DAY
NOT GO TOO FAR AWAY

WHEN I GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT AND MY HECTIC DAY IS GONE
I WISH I MAY I WISH I MIGHT BE SLEEPING ALL DAY LONG
BUT WHEN I WAKE FROM THIS COMA LITTLE BROTHER'S ANNOYING ME
I'LL ALWAYS HAVE A BONA FIDE REASON FOR BEING LAZY

I GUESS I'M LAZY AND I JUST CAN'T HELP IT
MY FUTURE'S LAZY AND IT'S MAKING ME SICK
IT SHOULD BE PARTYING TIME
I'LL TAKE MY TEQUILA WITH LIME
WHY AM I AT HOME IN BED
I GUESS IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD
IT'S TIME TO GET IT ON
AND PARTY UP UNTIL IT'S DAWN

LAZY! LAZY! LAZY! LAZY! LAZY! LAZY! LAZY! LAZY! LAZY! LAZY!
OH I'M LAZY
YEAH I'M LAZY
ETC. ETC.
Track Name: Blender of Death
BLENDER OF DEATH

GUTS FLYING EVERYWHERE
DECAPITATIONS WE DON'T CARE
THE SMELL OF BURNING FLESH INFESTS THE AIR
WORDS CAUSE THE SLAUGHTER NO LIFE TO SPARE

*CHORUS*
HUMAN LIFE THROW IT IN THE BLENDER
NATURE'S MILK WE DON'T MIND THE GENDER
RELIGIOUS BELIEFS THROW EM IN THE BLENDER
HIT PUREE AND SELL IT TO THE VENDOR

BLOOD AND BRAIN MATTER
WE LOVE TO WATCH IT SPLATTER
FEASTING ON THE SPAWN EVER GROWING FATTER
DROP THE BOMB AND SEE WHO SCATTERS

(CHORUS)

BLENDER OF DEATH
BLENDER OF DEATH
(FIGURE IT OUT)
BLENDER OF DEATH
Track Name: Happy Shroomin'
HAPPY SHROOMIN'

CHA CHA CHA
HAPPY SHROOMS ARE DANCIN' IN MY TUMMY
PICKED EM OUT OF SHIT AND THEY STILL TASTED YUMMY
CHOKED EM DOWN WITH BEER THEY WERE COVERED IN SKIPPY
DON'T ACCUSE ME OF BEING A HIPPY

*CHORUS*
HAPPY SHROOMIN' THE MOON SHINES DOWN
HAPPY SHROOMIN' I SAW YOU ON THE GROUND
YOU CALLED MY NAME SO I KNELT DOWN AND PICKED YOU UP
PUT YOU IN MY MOUTH

LAYING ON MY BACK STARIN' AT THE STARS
BEATING FLOWER CHILDREN WITH ACOUSTIC GUITARS
PEACEFUL CLOUDS THE WIND IN MY HAIR
LET'S TIP SOME COWS AND TAKE IT FROM THERE

(CHORUS)

AHHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHH
HAPPY SHROOMIN'
AHHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHH
HAPPY SHROOMIN' YEAH

HAPPY SHROOMIN'
HAPPY SHROOMIN' (THE HAPPIEST SHROOM TO YOU)
HAPPY SHROOMIN' (HAPPY HAPPY SHROOM SHROOM
HAPPY HAPPY SHROOM SHROOM SHOE BOP SHOE WALLA WALLA)
HAPPY SHROOMIN' TO YOU
Track Name: Sensei
SENSEI

SO YOU WANT TO SIGN UP FOR MY KUNG-FU CLASS
DON'T PISS ME OFF OR I'LL THROW YOU THROUGH THE GLASS
I HAVE SO MUCH TO TEACH YOU
THE MONKEY, TIGER, MANTIS, ALL KUNG-FU
IF YOU HAVE THE HEART
THIS IS HOW MY CLASS WILL START
(BONSAI)

*CHORUS*

YOU CALL ME SENSEI
I CALL YOU SON
DO WHAT I SAY AND WE MIGHT HAVE SOME FUN
YOU CALL ME SENSE
I CALL YOU SON
WE'LL WORK HARD EVERY DAY TILL OUR TRAINING IS DONE

IT'S NOT HARD TO BREAK THESE BRICKS
ONCE YOU DO IT YOU'LL IMPRESS THE CHICKS
IF YOU ASK ME NICE I'LL LET YOU WAX MY CAR
I'LL TAKE YOU OUT TO FIGHT IN SOME BAR
BUT REMEMBER MY SHAOLIN DRAGON
WILL ALWAYS STOP YOUR BRAGGIN'
(HI-YAH)

(CHORUS)

NOW IT'S TIME MY SON
YOUR FINAL TEST HAS NOW BEGUN
BIG EVENT STARTS TODAY
YOU'RE GONNA FIGHT IN THE KUMATE
SO WHAT IF HIS NAME'S TOM PO
I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO USE THE FLYING ELBOW

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW MORE THAN YOU KNOW NOW
SO IT'S TIME TO KICK SOME BACK MY NOK SU COW
NOK SU COW NOK SU COW NOK SU COW
LET'S HEAR YOUR BATTLE CRY
NOK SU COW NOK SU COW NOK SU COW
MAKE HIM SAY MU TAI
KUMATE KUMATE KUMATE
NOW YOU -----------
KUMATE KUMATE KUMATE
FOR YOUR SENSEI
Track Name: Naha
NAHA

FOUR DAYS OFF WE'RE GONNA GO OUT TO TOWN
TRY AND FIND A PLACE TO BE LOUD
SO WE CHECK OUT NAHA
SINCE WE'RE IN OKINAWA
BUT WHILE WE'RE HERE
THEY'RE GONNA CHARGE US MORE FOR BEER

NOW WE'RE IN A BIND
CAUSE EVERY PLACE WE FIND
SAYS "AMERICANS GO AWAY"
SO WE CHECKED OUT THE SLUM
BUT THAT WAS PRETTY DUMB
SINCE I CAN'T STAND RAP MUSIC
FUCK IT LET'S GO

I THINK WE NEED TO FIND SOME CHEAPER BEER
BUT THEN WE FOUND OUT THAT THERE IS NONE HERE (X2)
I THINK WE NEED TO FIND AN ATM
BUT THEN WE FOUND OUT THAT WE CAN'T USE THEM (X2)

NOW IT'S THREE AM
AND WE FUCKED UP AGAIN
5,000 YEN FOR THE CAUSE OF ONE MASSAGE
STARTED HEADING BACK
BUT WE GET SIDETRACKED
AND PULLED INTO SOME CRAZY BAR
I ALMOST SHED A TEAR
WHEN I BOUGHT A BEER
AND I SAW IT COST TWENTY BUCKS
WE'RE OUT OF HERE

I THINK I'M NEVER COMING BACK AGAIN
AND IF START TO PLEASE SHOOT ME THEN (X2)
YOU THINK THEY MIGHT SHOW SOME RESPECT (RESPECT)
WE'LL TRASH NAHA WITH NO REGRETS(X2)

WALKIN THE STREETS OF NAHA
STUCK ON THE ISLAND OF OKINAWA (X4)
Track Name: Jazzercise
JAZZERCISE

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE LYRICS ARE
FOR THIS SONG ANYMORE... WE DON'T WANT
TO REMEMBER. HAVE FUN DECIPHERING THEM.
Track Name: Light at the End of the Funnel
LIGHT AT THE END
OF THE FUNNEL


FRIDAY NIGHT DRINKING BEER TILL WE PASS OUT
FEELIN' TIRED BUT THE NIGHT'S STILL YOUNG
I MET A FRIEND HE SAID "THAT'S NOT WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT"
WE'RE GONNA GET THE FUNNEL AND DRINK TILL WE'RE OVERHUNG

ANOTHER NIGHT DRINKING BEER LIKE IT'S OUR MISSION
RANDY STANDS UP SAYS "EVERYBODY PLEASE LISTEN
WE'VE GOT BEER IN THE COOLER, BEER IN THE FRIDGE
BEER ON THE WAY, SO DON'T DISMAY

*CHORUS*
GRAB THE FUNNEL POUR IN A COUPLE DEUCE DEUCE
STOMACH FEELING HOTTER
DON'T MIX IN THE BROWN WATER
FEELING KIND OF TIRED MY VISION STARTS TO TUNNEL
THEN I SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE FUNNEL

YOU MIGHT ASK WHY WE DRINK WITHOUT FEER
CARPE CEREVISI THAT MEANS SEIZE THE BEER
IT'S SOMETHING FOR OURSELVES AWAY FROM ALL THE RULES
PLUS IDLE HANDS ARE THE DEVIL'S PLAY TOOLS

(CHORUS)

BRING ON THE PILSNERS
BRING ON THE ALE
GIVE ME SOME LAGER
DRINK FROM THE GRAIL(X2)

DRINK IT UP DRINK IT UP DRINK IT UP
GET ME DRUNK(X2)

GET ME DRUNK(X3)
Track Name: Worst Case Scenario
WORST CASE SCENARIO


FALLEN THROUGH ICE
INSTANT HYPOTHERMIA
EVERY LIMB FROZEN
PANIC IS WHAT YOU'VE CHOSEN
ENTRANCE HOLE DISAPPEARED
CAN'T FIND YOUR WAY THROUGH
IN THIS SITUATION WHAT WOULD YOU DO

*CHORUS*
WORST CASE SCENARIO
NO TIME TO THINK
INSTINCT HOLDS YOUR LIFE
NOW YOU'RE ON THE BRINK(X2)
OF THE END

WOKEN BY A CHOKE
EYES BLURRED CAN'T SEE
ROOM'S FILLED WITH SMOKE
CAN'T EVEN SCREAM
DOORKNOB GLOWS
RED FAMILY STILL IN BED
HERO COWARD OR CORPSE
LIFE WON'T GET MUCH WORSE

(CHORUS)

THE CAPTAIN'S ON THE AIR
THE PLANE HAS BEEN HIJACKED
HIS LAST WORDS WERE "LIFE'S NOT FAIR"
NOT ASKING FOR RANSOM
JUST WANTING REVENGE
BETTER BE COURAGEOUS
NO TIME TO CRINGE

SCENARIO!
Track Name: Spontaneous Rockage
SPONTANEOUS ROCKAGE

WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF WE COULD ROCK
WHENEVER WE WANTED TO
AIR-GUITAR, BASS DRUMS
OR ANY INSTRUMENT JUST FOR FUN
THIS MUST BE CRAZY THAT'S CHAOS YOU SAY
BUT JUST TAKE A POSE AND START TO PLAY

*CHORUS*
GRANT ME THIS WISH FOR SPONTANEOUS ROCKAGE
INVISIBLE INSTRUMENTS PLAYED TO PERFECTION
WHEN YOU FEEL THE NEED FOR SPONTANEOUS ROCKAGE
TAKE A STANCE AND BEGIN YOUR RENDITION

STANDING IN CHURCH AND THE PRIEST DECIDED
WHEN HE LOOKED AT YOU AND YOUR MINDS COINCIDED
YOU JAMMED A DUEL GUITAR 80'S SOLO
ROCKIN' WITH JESUS NOW ON PIANO

(CHORUS)

WE ALL FEEL ALONE AT TIMES
WELL JUST PLAY THE BLUES AND FRIENDS YOU'LL FIND
ANY TIME ANY PLACE ANY SITUATION
UNIFY THE SOUND COMPLETE PARTICIPATION

(CHORUS)

AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.
Track Name: Gutter Ball
GUTTER BALL

GUTTER BALL
IT SLIPPED OUT OF MY GRASP
GUTTER BALL
POUR MORE BEER IN MY GLASS
GUTTER BALL
IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES
GUTTER BALL
GETTING FUCKED UP AT THE LANES

FILL MY PITCHER TO THE BRIM
CAUSE TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA WIN
YEAH THE DRUNKER I GET
GUARANTEE A SEVEN-TEN SPLIT
TILL THE VELCRO ON MY SHOES IS COMING UNDONE
THEN I SLIPPED AND FELL BUT IT'S ALL IN GOOD FUN
SLIPPED AND FELL BUT IT'S ALL IN GOOD FUN

*CHORUS*
IT'S BOWLING TIME
BRING ME CORONA AND LIME
DOESN'T MATTER THE PRICE
SPICY WINGS TO BITE
WHATEVER THE NIGHT
JUST ROLL THAT DICE
STRAP ON MY BOWLING SHOES
AND TAKE AWAY MY BLUES(X2)

THERE'S NO CUSSING ON MY LANES
THE OWNER OFTEN COMPLAINS
BUT WE IGNORE HIS PLEAS
AND KEEP BOWLING HAPPILY
TILL THE SPICY WINGS TURN MY FINGERS RED
NOW THERE'S SAUCE ON MY BALL AND IT'S GETTING TO MY HEAD
SAUCE ON MY BALL AND IT'S GETTING TO MY HEAD

(CHORUS)

AS THE BALL DOES SPIN
SO DOES MY HEAD BEGIN
NOW MY BOWLING SKILLS ARE GONE
AND SO IS THE BEER IN MY BONG
THEN I LOOK UP AT THESE SCORES AND THEY DON'T ADD UP ONE BIT
GUESS THE BEER TOOK ITS TOLL CAUSE WE ALL BOWLED LIKE SHIT
THE BEER TOOK ITS TOLL CAUSE WE ALL BOWLED LIKE SHIT
Track Name: Perfect Wife
THE PERFECT WIFE


SOMETIMES I FANTASIZE
ABOUT MY FUTURE LIFE
WITH MY FUTURE WIFE
THROUGH THESE WORDS EXPLAIN MY STANDARDS
BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE
TO FIND THE PERFECT WIFE
I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER HAIR
BUT I PREFER IT LONG AND HANGING EVERYWHERE
HER FACE WILL BE THE KIND
THAT STAYS YOUNG UNTIL SHE'S 69
SHE'LL HAVE THE KIND OF BODY
THAT I CAN'T STOP STARING AT
WONDERING HOW'D I GET SO LUCKY
AND HOPING I DON'T GET TO FAT
FAT FAT

*CHORUS*
MAYBE YOU'RE OUT THERE FOR ME
OR MAYBE THIS WILL NEVER BE
I DREAM OF YOU AT NIGHT
AND IS THERE SUCH THING
AS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
MAYBE YOU'RE OUT THERE FOR ME
MAYBE I'LL JUST WAIT AND SEE
I DREAM OF HER AT NIGHT
AND WILL I FIND THE LOVE THAT'S JUST RIGHT

LOOKS AREN'T ALL I WANT CAUSE THAT WOULD BE TOO EASY
SHE HAS TO BE FUNNY SPONTANEOUS AND NEVER BLAND
LOVE ROLLER COASTERS PLAY BASS SO WE CAN JAM
SMARTER THAN ME BUT NEVER LET ME KNOW
ENJOY THE SAME MUSIC SO WE CAN START OUR OWN MOSH PIT OF LOVE

(CHORUS)

SHE'S THE KIND OF LADY
THAT WHEN SHE'S MAD WON'T ACT CRAZY
BUT TALK TO ME TELL ME WHY
SO THEN I KNOW AND NEVER MAKE HER CRY
WHEN WE HIT OUR FORTIES WE'LL START TO SETTLE DOWN
HAVE OURSELVES A FAMILY AND ALWAYS BE AROUND

WHEN SHE GROWS OLD
SHE WONT GROW COLD
BUT STILL YOUNG
AND KEEP HAVING FUN
YEAH THAT'S MY LADY
BUT I GUESS THAT I'M JUST CRAZY

SHE DON'T EXIST(X11)

NO SHE DON'T EXIST MAN
NO SHE DON'T EXIST
SHE'S NOT OUT THERE AT ALL
THAT'S JUST RIDICULOUS
CAPTIVATING THEORY
I'VE KNOWN IT ALL ALONG
CAN'T HELP IT BEING PICKY
THAT'S WHY I WROTE THIS SONG
I GUESS I'LL LIVE MY LIFE
SEARCHING FOR THE PERFECT WIFE
Track Name: Waiting
WAITING

WAITING GETTING COMPLACENT
STANDING IN A LINE
FOR AN UNDISCLOSED AMOUNT OF TIME
MY HANDS ARE IDLE AND THAT'S NOT GOOD
I HATE FUCKING WAITING AND THAT MUCH IS UNDERSTOOD

LINES FUCKING LINES
DON'T CUT ME
AND I'M AT THE END

ANXIETY LIKES TO ATTACK
SITTING IN A ROOM WITH THAT DONKEY ON MY BACK
SNAPPING CAN'T MAKE A SCENE
A SPEECH AN ACT OF VIOLENCE
OR SOMETHING TO BREAK THE SILENCE

LINES FUCKING LINES
DON'T CUT ME
AND I'M IN THE MIDDLE

ROOMS FUCKING ROOMS
WAIT YOUR TURN SIR WE'LL BE WITH YOU ANY MINUTE
BULLSHIT THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT
BUT IT'S PART OF LIFE AND WE HAVE TO WAIT IN LINE

LINES FUCKING LINES
DON'T CUT ME
AND I'M FINALLY AT THE FRONT

AT LEAST I'M NOT AT THE END
Track Name: 3 Chord Punk
3 CHORD PUNK


OI OI OI

I LOVE THREE CHORD PUNK
IT REALLY FUCKING RULES
I LOVE THREE CHORD PUNK
THERE'S NOTHING COOLER IN THE WORLD

THREE CHORD PUNK(X6)
IT'S THREE FUCKING CHORD PUNK

OI OI OI

I LOVE THREE CHORD PUNK
IT'S THE COOLEST SHIT AROUND
I LOVE THREE CHORD PUNK
CAUSE IT'S ALL I KNOW HOW TO PLAY

OI OI OI

OI OI OI

NOW IT'S TIME TO END THE SONG
I WANT YOU ALL TO SING ALONG
THREE CHORD FUCKING PUNK
REALLY FUCKING RULES

NOW IT'S TIME TO END THE SONG
I WANT YOU ALL TO SCREAM ALONG
NOW IT'S TIME FOR US TO GO
WE'LL SEE YOU AT OUR MOTHER FUCKING SHOW